and we shall be as gods
by thebookhobbit
Summary: Steampunk AU. Possible Rincewind/Ponder in later chapters. The HEM lads have split the Thaum. Ponder messes with the laws of man, gods, and magic; Rincewind tries not to get killed while this happens.
1. splitting the thaum

In the HEM building, Ponder solemnly drew the last magic circle on the squash court that was now their laboratory. Splitting the thaum. His dream since his student days. And now he was making that dream come true for his students, eager young faces with riotous hair and dark circles under their eyes, faces not much younger than his, in fact. He'd never imagined it would happen so soon. Despite funding issues, mysterious breakdowns of equipment, and a breakfast tray that ate people, the plan had worked.

Cheap, clean, available magic. For everyone. Whole new ways to meld magic and technology, a whole new world, if only he could get it past the university board.

"Staffs in place," he called, directing the students into their own small chalked circles. They activated them, and Ponder could feel the magic in the room rise. The air began to taste of tin. Starbursts flashed at the corner of his vision, tempting him to turn his head, but he was too fascinated with what was happening in the middle of the room.

The container they'd set in the center of the circle was slowly filling up with liquid.

Liquid. Magic.

He reached out almost without realizing it, fascinating by the shifting colours. Octarine shimmered on its surfacing, overlaying a pure, clear pale blue.

And just like that the spell was over, the container filled, raw magic condensed into liquid form, there for anyone to use, wizard or no, for anything at all. Transportation. Communication. The possibilities were endless.

That had been two days ago. They had refined the process, drunk on the awareness that it was possible. Now it could be done with three wizards, six ounces of goat blood, and a large silver spoon.

This was only the beginning.

"So, young Stibbons, I understand you've asked to be allowed a leave of absence for research."

"Yes, sir. As you're no doubt aware, the possibilities opened up by splitting the thaum – "

"Yes, yes, I know, I hear you young fellas talkin' about it all the time."

"I can tell you what the research will be about, Archchancellor."

"Will it involve the word quantum?"

"Possibly."

"Thank you, no." Ridcully sighed and shuffled some of the papers on his desk. They were mostly there for show, since he felt anything that you had time to write down wasn't urgent enough to require his attention, but they were jolly good for moments like this, when he had to think.

"What," he asked, shuffling some more, "is the benefit to the university of this?"

"Well, since I'll still be an employee, you'll have full rights to anything I come up with," Ponder said, cautiously hopeful. "It could be quite profitable."

Ridcully considered this. " And you'll expect your post to still be open when you get back after, hmm, how long did you say?"  
"A year, sir. Yes, sir. As I occupy no essential function in this university " – _aside from keeping everything from falling to bits in the midst of this madness_, he told himself, but didn't say that out loud – "I didn't think it would be too much to ask."

"Hmm, indeed." Ridcully stroked his beard for a moment, and then made up his mind.

"All right," he said. "We can't pay you wages, of course."

"I don't think I draw any now, sir."

Ridcully stood up, shook his hand. "Righto, Stibbons. We'll miss you, and all that. When will you leave?"

"Beginning of next week, sir. My students are throwing me a party."

"Jolly good."

* * *

Many thanks to the lovely LilMaibe, who gave me some excellent suggestions. You should go read her stuff as she has some amazing HEM-based fanfiction.  
Also, this is my first real fanfic in...ages. And my first Discworld fanfic. And my first multichapter. Soooo, CC welcome. Also, Britpick me, I'm American.


	2. old boys

When Rincewind checked into his hotel room after returning from saving the country, he decided immediately that what he needed was lodgings. A hotel was too expensive to live in long. He was at a fleabag old inn, the Mended Drum, but he didn't have much money to spend at the moment.

Originally, once they'd found out what he'd done, they had offered him things. A job, which he'd turned down as hastily as possible. Then a house. Then a statue. Rincewind did not get a statue, a house, or even another job offer. He got censured for interfering in the state's business, and, because the Patrician was not a stingy man, a small pension. It was enough to live on if he could actually find some place to live.

Which was the problem. Locating rooms in Ankh these days for a decent price was a ridiculously difficult endeavor, never mind finding someone you trusted enough to share a residence with. Of course there were always shady people in back alleys claiming they knew good flatmates, but that was the sort of thing that got you knifed in the night and all your organs sold for scrap.

Such were his thoughts when he walked out to the hotel lobby and into an oddly-familiar young man with spectacles.

Rincewind notice the spectacles at once, for they flew off the face when the collision ensued. Both of them had been concentrating on everything but the path in front of them, and they met violently with a mighty _wumph_! of air rushing out of lungs.

"Sorry," said Rincewind, watching the other man carefully to see if he was likely to become violent.

"It's all right," he said. "Er. Have you seen my glasses?"  
Rincewind hunted around with the man and succeeded in location them under a chair. "Here," he said, handing them over.

"Thank you," said the young man, polishing them vigorously and putting them back on his face. "I do apologize. I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. You see, there's this fascinating – sorry, is something wrong? You look very alarmed all of a sudden."

"Is your name Ponder Stibbons?" Rincewind hazarded. Now that the glasses were on again he recognized the man.

"Yes, I – Oh! Rincewind!" Ponder pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I knew you looked familiar!" He stuck out his hand, which Rincewind shook.

"This is a surprise," Ponder went on. "I wouldn't have expected to see you here."

"Nor I you," Rincewind replied. "I'd have thought you'd be living at the university. Teaching and all."

"Well, I was, but there's been this most fascinating new breakthrough, which I must tell you about, and so I took a leave of absence for research. It's a bit of a relief, really. People there are mad."

This was an obvious fact, so Rincewind decided not to comment on it. Instead he changed the subject. "Where are you staying?"

"Here, at the moment. That's the trouble. I've found a nice place but it's too expensive for one. I thought of looking for a flatmate, but..." Ponder shrugged.

"I know. I've had the most awful time. Everyone around here is either going to murder you in your sleep or steal your stuff. Or worse."

There was a short pause as they considered the situation.

"You wouldn't like..." Ponder began just as Rincewind said "These rooms..." They stopped for a moment.

"Go on," said Ponder.

"You first," said Rincewind.

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a look at the rooms. I mean, I'm reasonable certain you won't stab me, and so I thought this would be a good opportunity for both of is."

"Thank you, I believe I shall," Rincewind said.


End file.
